


I Call This One "I Gave in and Created an Incorrect Sanders Sides Quotes Collection"

by CastielWinchester



Series: Shit Posts [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Actual Buffoons, Bad Jokes, Bad Stupid, Cannibalism, Chuck help me why did i do this, Depression, Eyeballs, Gen, Inccorect Sanders Sides Quotes, Punny Puns, Ramen and Mayo, Sadistic Comdey, Stupidity, You Have Been Warned, goldfish, good stupid, like super bad jokes, look its incorrect sanders sides quotey stuff you know the drill, puns, refrences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 07:33:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20944652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWinchester/pseuds/CastielWinchester
Summary: It's all in the title, baby. I made a collection of incorrect sanders sides quotes for you all! You'll get clues as to what may happen with the tags but other than that you'll just have to read it. You may as well read it it's dumb comedy mate, what's better than that? (It's a rhetorical question and a rock fact. You can't argue rock facts.)I may add to this later if y'all like it.





	I Call This One "I Gave in and Created an Incorrect Sanders Sides Quotes Collection"

**Author's Note:**

> Look! New content! Hooray! I you enjoyed these tidbits, I might try to make another chapter or something. (This si basically unedited so just forgive mistakes.) Anyway, have a nice day/night and I hope you enjoy this utter regret I have given you! 
> 
> Cas out

Deceit: *Texting Virgil* this kid I’m babysitting just had me put 4 SPOONFULS OF MAYONNAISE IN HIS TOP RAMEN 

Virgil: the heck 

Virgil: is he eating it 

Deceit: YEAH HE JUST SAID IT WAS SO GOOD 

Virgil: Remus?

Deceit: Remus 

\-----

Virgil: I just heard the twins outside and Roman goes,** _“_**_I do not fear the dark side,” _and then Remus reply,** “YOU SHOULD” **and then I just hear a _WHACK_ and then crying. 

\-----

Patton: *Making Kool-Aid* 

Patton: *Pours sugar in; huge clump of sugar the size of the sugar container falls into Kool-Aid, making a huge mess and leaving more sugar than drink* 

Patton: *Hums and continues to stir before taking a sip and smiling* Perfect. 

\-----

Kid Logan: *Slides down the playground slide perfectly* 

Kid Roman: *Comes barreling down the slide and face plants in the dirt* 

\-----

Logan: *Doing nerdy research* Remus, how much do you weigh? 

Remus: Uuuhhh... like one hundred and eighty squirrels. 

\-----

*The crew riding the Disney Haunted Mansion* 

Virgil: *Sees the dude who hung himself hanging by his neck* Oh he's just hanging around 

Patton: *Concerned Dad Noises* 

\-----

Roman: *Tries smashing a glass bottle on the ground; fails* 

Roman: *Tries again; fails* 

Roman: *Tries again; bottle bounces off the ground and hits oven door, shattering it; bottle remains unbroken* 

\-----

Patton: A lady just dropped a steak while I was at Aldi. I said, “Whoops, now it’s ground beef!” She didn’t laugh or seem slightly amused but that’s showbiz baby. 

\-----

Virgil: *Eating pizza* 

Virgil: *Pulls out bottle of chocolate syrup* 

Roman: *Walking past* Uhh… what’re you doing? 

Virgil: *Pops open the bottle, stares Roman dead in the eye* 

Roman: *Stage whispers* No...

Virgil: *Begins to pour syrup all over pizza before shoveling it in his mouth, all while never breaking eye contact* 

Roman: *Offended Princey Noises* 

Remus: *Claps of approval from a distance* 

\-----

Logan: *ordering cake over the phone*

Employee: And what would you like your cake to say?

Logan: *covering the phone* Do we want a talking cake?

\-----

Patton: *Eats a cinnamon roll* 

Thomas: Cannibalism. 

All the sides: Cannibalism. 

The whole fandom: Cannibalism.

The entire world: Cannibalism. 

Aliens from another universe: Cannibalism. 

\-----

Remus: What if you grated you skin with a cheese grater? What if eyeballs tasted exactly like peeled grapes and you couldn’t tell the difference? What if- 

Virgil: *Shoving a clock in Remus’s face* IT’S TIME TO STOP. 

\-----

No one: 

Literally no one: 

Fanders: DAD FIGURES AND SPEC NERDS AND DRAMA QUEENS AND EMO CUTIES AND DANGER NOODLES AND TRASH GOBLINS

The world: *Unholy screech of fear* 

\-----

Patton: *Recording* Gonna surprise my roommate! *Turns camera to couch which is utterly covered in goldfish* 

Logan: *Walks in* 

Patton: *Turns camera to Logan* Hey, uh, Lo-Lo? 

Logan: Yes? 

Patton: *Turns camera back to couch* notice anything, uh, _fishy_, about the couch? *Turns camera back to Logan* 

Logan: *Sadness in his eyes; speaks with a broken voice* Again? 

\-----

Virgil: *Wakes up to Roman lying next to him in bed staring at him* *Vietnam flashbacks to when Remus did that and always had something planned* *Punches Roman square in the nose* 

Roman: *Clutches his now bleeding nose* WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR!? 

Virgil: DON’T DO THAT!

Roman: VIRGIL WE’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS!

Virgil: I’M NOT APOLOGIZING!

\-----

Virgil: *Blasting Spooky Scary Skeletons and hanging Halloween decorations* 

Logan: Virgil, please, it is barely September- 

Virgil: THE STORES HAVE HAD CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS OUT SINCE BEFORE AUGUST LOGAN! AUGUST! CHRISTMAS ISN’T ‘TIL DECEMBER! 

Logan: Yes, but- 

Virgil: NO! CAN’T YOU FEEL THE SPOOP COMING!? I MUST PREPARE! 

\-----

Patton: Lo, can you help me with this? *Gestures to a thing*

Logan: Certainly Patton, I ‘got this’.

Logan: *tries to do the thing; fails*

Logan: ...I don’t ‘got this’.

\-----

Logan: Please, no one wants to see your legs.

Roman: You keep it up and for every insult I’m gonna roll up my pant legs and by the end of this encounter I’ll be wearing booty shorts.

\-----

Remus: *gasp* My friends!

The other sides: *running away and screaming*

\-----

Patton, giggling: Hey Logan? Why was six afraid of seven?

Logan: I assume it’s because seven is a prime number, and prime numbers can be intimidating.

\-----

Logan: I’ve got a five-year plan.

Virgil: Five years? Cool. I’ve got the next two and a half hours planned, and then there’s darkness...

Roman: And possibly some dragons...

Patton: And like, a few cookies...

Logan: Why do I even try with you anymore?

\-----

Virgil: We can bake these cookies four hundred degrees for 10 minutes or four thousand degrees for one minute.

Logan: No that’s not how you makes cookies.

Roman: FLOOR IT.

Virgil: How about 400,000 degrees for one second?

Logan: YOU’RE GOING TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-

Virgil: I’M GONNA HARVEST THE POWER OF FUCKING THE SUN TO BAKE COOKIES

Patton DO IT

Logan: NO

\-----

Remus: I loooooooooooove having two D’s at once~

Remus: There’s a snake in my butt!

Deceit: *listening in on the ordeal, understanding exactly what Remus is implying* *sighs* *speaks quietly* Holy shit.

\-----

*A bit after Virgil is really accepted*

Logan, Patton, and Roman: *cuddling on the couch*

Virgil: *walks past*

Patton: *tugs Virgil into the group cuddle, hugging him*

Roman and Logan: *joining in*

Virgil: *flustered* wh-what?

Patton: No more missing out on cuddles, mister.

Logan: Comforting contact is necessary to keep you in good health, Virgil.

Roman: Yeah! We loooooooove you!

Virgil: *flushes violently but doesn’t argue; he couldn’t really escape the cuddles even if he wanted to*

*After Deceit is accepted*

Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil: *cuddle pile*

Deceit: *tries to slither past*

Virgil: *snakes and arm around his waist and pulls him in*

Deceit: WhA-

Virgil: Don’t question The Cuddles.

*After Remus is basically accepted*

Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil, and Deceit: *Mega Cuddle*

Remus: *Appears and jumps into pile* Don’t forget about mEEEEEEEE!

Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil, and Deceit: *sighs in unison but let him join the cuddle party*

\-----

Virgil: *choking*

Patton: I’m trying to call 911 but the nine isn’t working!

Roman: Flip the phone upside down and use the six!

Patton: *gasp* Genius!

Virgil: *Momentarily stops choking* What the heck?

\-----

Remus: Let’s all get naked!

Everyone else: NO!

Remus: Eh, worth a try.

\-----

Logan: Who ate the last of the Crofter’s?

Patton: It was me, sorry.

Logan: It’s alright, I can buy more.

-

Logan: Who ate the last of the Crofter’s?

Roman: It was me.

Logan: Bitch. 

\-----

Virgil: I’m a confident driver.

Deceit: you almost ran over Remus.

Virgil: I did it with confidence, though.

\-----

Remus: I’m going to go and punch a baby now.

\-----

Patton: I promised Logan I’d call.

Deceit: And I promised Lincoln a good night at the theater, hurry it up.

\-----

Patton: Have a good day!

Virgil: Don’t tell me what to do.

\-----

Roman: I have a feeling we should kiss. Is that a good feeling?

Virgil: Well, sometimes I have a feeling I can do crystal meth.

Virgil: Then I think, “Hmm, better not.”

\-----

Patton: Roman and Deceit always say that Disneyland is the happiest place on earth.

Patton: Apparently, neither of them have ever been in Virgil’s arms.

Deceit: Of course we’ve never been in Virgil’s arms, he’s terrifying.

Roman: I brushed against him accidently once and he pulled out a switchblade.

\-----

Roman: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Deceit: No.

Roman: *whispers to Virgil* What do we do now?

Virgil: *shrugs*

\-----

Logan: Okay, well let’s say you haven’t eaten in a day and need food, what do you do?

Roman: I drive to Virgil’s house and ask him to make me a sandwich.

Logan: Well, what if he isn’t home?

Roman: Why wouldn’t he be home?

Logan: Uhh... he had to leave the country for something.

Roman: What!? Is he okay!?

Logan: Yes, he’s fine.

Roman: Well if he’s fine I don’t see why he can’t make me a sandwich.

\-----

Virgil: *mumbling under his breath, barely audible* Let’s save the pitiful children

Roman: *bursts into room, singing at the top of his lungs* WOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Virgil: *literally jumps a few feet in the air like a cat, zipping to the top of the fridge* JESUS CHRIST!

Patton: *appears* No, that’s Roman.

\-----

Virgil: If you’re sad and you know it, clap your hands!

Literally everyone: *chorus of claps*

Virgil: Okay, no, we need to fix this.

\-----

Virgil: *burns his hand on the stove*

Virgil: AW SHIT THIS HURTS LIKE A BITCH!

Virgil: *puts his hand on Deceit’s chest where his heart is*

Virgil: Ah, nice and cold.

Deceit: Please stop touching me.


End file.
